One of my top seven pastimes is people watching. Especially during moments when I’m somewhere I really don’t want to be… like the DMV or Tag Office. During the dreaded annual trip to the Tag office, instead of getting frustrated playing the eternal waiting game, I use that time to look around me and see what funny I can find and before I know it, it’s finally my turn to meet with the Wizard of Plexiglas and hand over 50 forms of identification and my soul.
Here are some findings/observations from my last trip to the Atlanta DMV/Tag Office:
- In moments when you can’t escape, there’s always a crying baby
- If you’re wearing a dress, keep your legs crossed tightly to avoid stares from the old man with x-ray wonky eye
- No one on the planet looks good in fluorescent lighting
- Some fun games to play are: Count the fitted Caps, Tic-Tac-Ghetto or Where’s Moo Moo?
- Fat guy in a size shmedium shirt
- Lots of ladies doing the Z-Snap believing the attitude will make the line move faster
- Purple shirt, purple shorts, purple socks, purple shoes
- Young fellow with an entire bottle of hair gel in his hair and newly developed scumstache, as seen here:
- Old hippie with a tie die shirt that says: “I’m on island time”
- A twilight zone of sandals and socks
- Security guard, alternating between texting and falling in and out of consciousness
- Woman sitting to my right, clipping her fingernails and then tossing the clippings into her purse
- Middle aged woman who keeps asking if the number being called is her number, as somewhere along the way, she never learned how to count …or read
Ahh yes, nothing like waiting around in a room full of strangers that don’t want to be there either. After making your way to the front of the line at last, don’t be surprised if you’re mysteriously missing some required form, sending you stress twitching and dragging your feet back to the end of the line…which has now doubled in length. Do your best to try and find something to make you laugh during life’s terrible moments, even if it’s laughing at someone else’s expense (other people are probably making fun of you in their heads too.) Whenever dealing with government offices, always clear your entire day and while you wait, sit back and enjoy the show.
See you all in Hell!