Every relationship is like a story. There is a beginning, a middle and sometimes an end and most of us have many stories to tell. I celebrated my 23rd birthday last week and during the 48-hour hangover I endured after my birthday party I thought over the many “men” I’ve let into my life. Some of them were and will only be friends, but many and most of them were all of that and more. Bad boys, co-workers and next-door neighbors, undeniable chemistry, short flings and real love. The relationships you find yourself in are dysfunctional in their stability and full of truth in their lies. We have all been courted, we have all gone after what we want and we have all been picked up and let down. But, without trying to sound like a Carrie Bradshaw column title, in looking at the perception of men and women in relationships, what are the rules of the game?
When you meet someone and hit it off, does anything go? Should you wait before sleeping with them or should you do what you want to do? Do you take things slow and steady or do you win the race? I have a lot of friends that are guys, because I prefer crude humor, drinking beer and laughing when people fart, but I am in fact a woman and therefore as much as I make fun of girls, my perspective on this topic is tilted in the female corner.
Girls are all a little nuts. I am the first to admit it. We overthink, overdress, over analyze and care way too much about pretty much everything. We think guys want us when we don’t want them, we think saying how we feel will mean anything after a relationship is over. We think that if a guy doesn’t call, it’s because he’s “too busy,” we think they don’t care if our legs are a little prickly and we think that men will sit and laugh with us when we lip sync to Celine Dion songs with our friends in our living room. Like I said, girls are a little nuts. But how many insensitive, narcissistic “dudes” do we run through before we stop and ask ourselves, “What are you doing?!?” It is so easy to blame other people for the circumstances you find yourself in, but at the end of the day, you make your own choices and can only find yourself accountable for your actions, because this is your life.
So, the rules are, there are no rules. If it’s right, it will happen. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, so if you are in a relationship that is making you question or doubt yourself, then you need to get out of it and run away! You are the voice inside of your head; you are the one that makes your decisions, so if someone else if hurting you, don’t let them. In the words of the wise and hilarious Katt Williams, “Life is too mother fuckin’ short!” It’s okay to be single and if you meet someone and they never call, don’t fuckin’ sweat it. Have fun and be happy with yourself. There is nothing more attractive than self- confidence and if anyone tries to question that, well… they’re an idiot. Don’t change yourself for someone else because it will only hurt you in the end. So go sing “Push It” at Karaoke and don’t look at the screen for any of the words, because you probably know them all and if you don’t, make up your own words. Keep dancing to the beat of your own drum and people will keep dancing with you if they can keep up with the beat.