An Ode To Boobies

You’re close to my heart

And always by my front

This one goes out to you, my lovely lady lumps.

At the University of Fun Bags,

No one wants to pass.

We all hope for D’s in every class.

The secret’s out, Victoria

It’s your jugs.

Once they arrive,

Dramatic increase in hugs.

Throughout your day

You’ll get a lot more “hello’s”

If you show off

Your dirty pillows.

The all powerful pair,

They get shit done

Special treatment, promotions, free drinks and fun.

Dolly Parton’s sweater puffs

Pack a huge punch

On hers she can rest

Breakfast, dinner and lunch.

Bat your eyelashes

And push up your boobs

9 out of 10 times,

You’ll never lose.

When climbing up the corporate ladder

Cleavage will help you do it faster.

The twins always point you in the forward direction

And help get you into the VIP section

When the neckline is plunging

The boys can’t think clear

Excuse me there buddy,

My eyes are up here.

Boobies are something

The world loves to see

And they’re especially awesome,

When they’re in 3-D.

Pray for big knockers,

And hope God grants the blessing

Unless of course

You’re Deborah Messing.

Barbie has no nipples,

That’s a fact

But all in all,

Still a decent rack.

European beaches,

Heaven for the foreigner

Nobody puts boobies in a corner.

Often found painted

In museum pictures

And strangely resembled

By ceiling light fixtures.

They’re always supported,

Even when they’re not.

Three cheers for boobies,

Because we all know, they rock.

We’ll have no talk of man boobs though

That should stay quiet.

If you have those

You should go on a diet.

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