Dill Breaker

I have often pondered if I could possibly love anything in life more than I do Claussen dill pickles. You can go a lot of different places with that statement, but the answer will always be no.

I fucking love dill pickles with every fiber of my being. I love the halves, I love the spears, I love the mini ones, I love the wholes ones more than Snooki ever could and I even love those delicate little sandwich slices… so delicious in my mouth. My affinity for dill pickles began as a child and continues to grow with age. If it was still appropriate to get a side of pickles that was bigger than my actual meal, I would be ALL OVER DAT!

A few weeks ago, knowing pickles make my heart skip a beat, my boyfriend brought home  “hot and spicy” pickles from the grocery store. “I can get down with that,”I thought… I don’t mind spicy things and it’s still a dill pickle after all.

WRONG!

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These pickles were created in hell. The first crunch is pleasant, but then comes the burn. This lingering burning can only compare to what it must feel like to hold a lighter to your tongue… it’s so awful… so so awful. *sniffle sniffle tear* Just the sight of these “demon things” in the refrigerator makes me frown and shake my head from side to side.

Its taken me a little while to recover from this experience, but I would never walk away from dill pickles, ever… not even if my boyfriend tries to light my mouth on fire.

-You can find Satan’s dill pickles in the sadistic isle of your local grocery store.-

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